Tis the season… to not listen to Justin Bieber’s “Christmas” album.

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There are so many things wrong with this song and video. The first, why on earth is that car just chilling behind Justin Bieber as he sings an entire song? You can’t just park your car in the middle of the street, I don’t care if you are JBiebs. Second, that was not Selena Gomez you were kissing, Justin. To the song itself: what kind of Christmas song have you ever heard that includes the lyric “shorty, will you?” I believe the correct pronunciation is “shawty,” but either way, it’s wrong. Nothing about this song/video is actually relevant to the Christmas season.

I guess I can continue my rant into the rest of the album. I prefer the Chipmunk’s version of “The Christmas Song,” but I suppose Justin’s version isn’t too bad. His grown-up voice can handle the melody and having Usher sing on the track makes it even more tolerable. I will even give some credit to “Home This Christmas” featuring The Band Perry. It definitely still steps outside of the classic Christmas tune, but it still has Christmas-like meaning. Even so, when it does step outside of the classic Christmas sound, the vocals still blend well together in a nice, serene way. Finally, I will admit that, even though Mariah Carey sounds so better on her own, “All I Want For Christmas” is a good song… except for the minor detail that the vocals of Mariah Carey and Justin Bieber do not sound so well together. The song itself is good though. So, I’ll give him props on this aspect of the album.

However, I would now like to retract any previous compliment made toward Justin Bieber in this article as I turn to his rendition of “The Drummer Boy.” It takes Justin Bieber 52 seconds to ruin Christmas for me. I give it to him that he can 17-year-old-white-boy rap very well; you know, in that really amateur way. However, to Busta Rhymes, Justin Bieber, The Island Def Jam Music Group, and anyone else involved in the production of this song: Christmas and rap don’t mix well. Christmas music is for Nat King Cole, Mariah Carey, and the Chipmunks. I cannot decorate my tree, wrap my presents, unwrap my presents, or eat my Christmas dinner to this song. I mean, really, the lyrics contain the word Cupid – did we not understand that the intention of this song was supposed to be Christmas and not Valentine’s Day? And, let us not forget the ending note, “Merry Christmas, Kwanzaa, Happy Hanukkah.” My apologies to those celebrating the Winter Solstice.

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One response »

  1. Pingback: Recent “Hits” … so ‘Call Me, Maybe’ ‘Some Nights’ because I’m ‘Happy To You.’ « Music Reviews from the Underskilled.

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